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This is a question Clients Are Stupid

I once had to train a client on how to use their new website. I said, "point the mouse at that button." They looked at me with a quizzical expression, picked up the mouse and held it to the screen. Can you beat this bit of client stupidity?

(, Sun 28 Dec 2003, 22:47)
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Never mess with people's money. Unless it's funny
I used to work for American Express (I don't care who knows) and once I had a bloke wait on the phone for 15 minutes to get through (there had been a massive billing problem due to September 11th as a result of no air cargo coming in as the bills were all printed in the US for some reason). When he got through, aside from speaking very broken English in an indeterminate accent, I managed to decipher what the bloody hell he was banging on about...

He wanted to "Speek manayer" which I correctly assumed was "manager". However, due to the fact it was a Saturday and managers have some sort of allergy to working the weekend, there were no managers available. As I'd been there for a while, I had a sound knowledge of the ins and outs of the system at Amex. I put him on hold saying I was going to get a manager, then came back on the phone saying I was the manager. For anyone who wishes to know, this was ENCOURAGED by my manager, who didn't actually do very much apart from take the credit when I did good. Anyway, I digress.

This guy then spoke to me very calmly and said he's been having problems using his card (still finding it hard to understand the guy, but I thought I'd give it a go) so I ask for his card number to check to see what the problem is. He gives me the first four numbers of the card, which from memory I ascertained was a Visa card of some description. As the phonelines were going batshit, I stopped him to say "You've rang the wrong number, you want to call the customer service number printed on the reverse of your card", but actually got as far as saying "You've" before he went right off on one again. So I offered to transfer him to Visa so they could help. However, I thought it would be fun to transfer him to the first number that popped in to my head, the local radio station. Apparently he went live and was very rude to the DJ.

cranberry.
(, Fri 2 Jan 2004, 18:12, Reply)

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