Curly said WATTS???
[To avoid yet another shit Q.O.T.W. answer from yours truly, just skip to the end for the conversation killer. There's no need for you to suffer my raving lunacy if you don't want to, but if you're a nutter as well, you might like it...well, slightly like it. O.K., there's a small chance that you might tolerate it.]

Between the ages of 17 and 19, I went to something that laughably called itself a college - it used to be a banana storage facility, before being bought and converted into an institution that taught students the absolute bare minimum so that they'd achieve their qualifications and therefore earn the college £500 a time - and one thing in particular stands out from my time there.

This was the kind of college that attracts mostly retards and losers - hence my presence there. People of all ages from 16 and over; high-school drop-outs (not the kind that succeed against all odds), people who'd been unemployed for fucking ages because they barely had the intelligence to recall their own names and the fact that they needed to keep breathing. Hence my presence there. Don't get me wrong - there were some very intelligent people there, too, and being unemployed for a long time doesn't necessarily correlate with being unemployable, but they really should've renamed the place Loserville College For The Hopelessly Fucked. Hence my presence there.

We were on a break in the common room, and one particular arsehole there commented that the bunch of people sitting over the other side of the room were basically a cast of rejected characters from The Simpsons. Hence my presence there. As much as I disliked this particular guy, I couldn't help but agree with him.

There was one particular fella called Roy, who I tagged Curly Watts behind his back...well, because he looked like Curly Watts. He also looked shifty and incredibly evil, and he was very stupid; among other things, he once declared that Tottenham were actually a better team than Arsenal. Not that I support either team (though I do like football), but it was the timing of him saying this that made it ludicrous - Arsenal had won the Double that season, and half their squad had won the World Cup for France just a few days before he came out with his pearl of wisdom. Tottenham, as I remember, only narrowly avoided relegation that season.

Anyway, I digress. The conversation killer came when the group of Simpsons characters in question were discussing their mums - I'm very good at not paying attention to other people's conversations, and all I really remember is that mothers were the subject matter for some reason.

Curly silenced the whole room with this gem, which seemingly came out of nowhere: "My mum's a babe!"

Cue the rest of us leaning over to each other and whispering: "Did he just say what I THINK he just said?" I'd once referred to Curly as a motherfucker, but I didn't expect him to be Oedipus reincarnated.
(TheAmazingMeatMan ™ can't sing, but he's got soul, Fri 13 May 2011, 5:55, 1 reply)

Shudders...I have met people like that

(Portnoy will never stop complaining, Fri 13 May 2011, 23:43, closed)