breakfast included
"twin share room with private en-siute. breakfast included. bargain rates"
sounds great, we thaught as we headed off to find the place somewhere in london. my last stop before i flew home. the place was charming, just off the main road behinnd a pub, so i could sneak pints out the back door and sit in the hotels garden and read. the weather was warm. i was content and happy. the crapiness was first evident when we arrived and were shown to our room. it was actually a shoebox with two beds jammed in so tight 2 people coudnt get out of bed at once. the reason for this was that the ensuite was a beige plastic box pushed up in one corner of the room and silliconed to the wall. unlike the tardis, it was slightly larger than a phonebox on the outside and remarkably small on the inside. to open the door, the roommate had to sit on her bed. once inside you were standing in a combo bath shower, a toilet nudging your leg, begging for attention and a sink facing you. it was almost certainly designed by a mad scientist with chronic and on-going gastro. a time machine for the gastricly challenged. the second mark came when after may lazy pints i hazily staggered off to bed. crashing down i donged my head forcefully on the railing. in order to help in the llusion that the room had some space in it the beds were significantly shorter than an ordinary bed. ah well. i didnt care, pissed and sleepy i drifted of to a hunched slumber, awaiting my free breaky befor my flight in the morning. morning came and breakfast was to be the last crowning glory of crapiness. after 6 weeks of wandering i had been suprised by the breakfasts i had been served and was looking forward to egs and baccon, or ham and cheese. toast, coffee, juice. sitting at the table a disgruntled and harrassed looking staffer baught over a plate and plonked it down. a slice of cold toast and a boiled egg. hmmm. oh well, thinks i. better than nothing. tap tap tap...splosh. nope. not so much boiled as hen-fresh. so may last meal in merry ol england was dry cold toast, a raw egg and half a cup of bitter black coffee. crappy, yes. but i loved every bit.
(lazy killer robot found that beer tastes better when your older, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 21:15, 1 reply)

Ha!
"a time machine for the gastricly challenged."

I've not even finished reading the story as I'm giggling like a girl and snorting out of my nose after that!
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 17:22, closed)