oh, where do i start?
age 7: caravan site in wales. caravan was next to a railway, the toilet was broken, the blankets had fleas and we were woken each morning by my dad, waging a war against the moles that were all around the caravan. him and his trusty shovel could be heard for miles: "come here, you furry little bastards, i'll fucking bash your brains in!"

age 11: hotel in spain. lloret de mar. plasters off the chef's fingers found in people's food, plaster off the ceiling likewise found in the food, as was an impressive amount of huge, fat slugs. distressing smell of sewage around the bar, broken glass in the indoor pool and, to top it off, someone stole my new puma jacket.

age 24: spain again, this time malgrat. supposedly 3-star hotel. the room had no balcony, despite the brochure claiming that all rooms did. there was no shower and the bath was roughly the size of an oxo cube. the food was vile, but that didn't matter, because there wasn't enough. the first 10 guests in the queue got hot chips, the next 10 got cold mash and the rest got skanky "risotto". the room was so small, i could open the window from my bed, which was against the far wall. on the third day, the maid complained that i had wet clothes in the bath. the manageress was about to give me a bollocking, so i started first, telling her that if i had a balcony, i could dry my clothes properly. i mentioned the fact that i was a solicitor(i'm not, but it put the shits up them) and got a new room within 10 minutes. it had a balcony. the wardrobe was an alcove with a floral curtain on string.

age 32, last year: butlin's. in february. walking to breakfast through a hailstorm is not fun. nor were the extremely loud, drunken scottish couple in the room behind mine, who tried to force open the connecting door several times. repeated complaints to them and staff achieved nothing.

this year, i'm staying home.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 0:51, 2 replies)

WTF?
Butlins, in February? 'kinell!

We used to go there when I was a kid, and it was bad enough in July.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 8:32, closed)

caravan site in Wales, chavvy Spanish resorts, Butlins..
...I can see where you are going wrong there matey
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 18 Jan 2008, 11:08, closed)