hotel europa, malgrat, 1993
first clue should have been the fact that i was the only person in a group of 72 to be staying there.
the room was a shoebox with a broken window, there was crumbling plaster everywhere and the air conditioning squeaked like a pair of humping gerbils. at mealtimes, the first 10 people got lukewarm chips. everyone after that got freezing cold mash. hot food was not something that ever happened there.
after 3 days, i was told that the maid had complained because i had clothes drying over the bath. i said if they were willing to give me a room with a balcony so i could dry my clothes in the fresh air, i'd happily remove them from the bathroom.
i didn't realise the first room was one of the better ones.
they moved me to a cubby hole so small i could open the window on the other side of the room whilst lying in bed. the wardrobe was a curtained-off alcove, the balcony a rusted health and safety nightmare and the shower dribbled like an incontinent stoat. i didn't sleep very well, as the only curtain in the room was the one doing service as a wardrobe door, so i spent a fair bit of time by the pool. not in the pool, mind; when you see that many dead insects in the water, you are disinclined to enter yourself. it was almost as if a carpet of death was spread over the stagnant contents.
the bar was staffed by one man, who worked from lunchtime till whenever he felt like going home. cheerfulness was alien to him. that being said, most of the other staff seemed quite pleasant. still couldn't wait to get out of there, though, despite the bakery next door selling the best doughnuts i've ever tasted.
the next year, the hotel europa had been removed from the holiday brochure. i can't imagine why.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 30 Nov 2014, 17:23, Reply)