Opening the gate...
The year was 1996, the destination Palma Nova, just down the road from Magaluf. The end of A-Levels resulted in 8 of us, 5 lads, 3 girls begging for money off the parents to go on an all out party week.

You know the scene from the Inbetweeners film, when they arrive at their hotel and they are the only people getting off the bus, at the complete shit hole. We had the opposite. It looked lovely. Clean, tidy, busy bar, clean corridors. Thing was, it was about 4am when we arrived.

But the rooms, dear God the rooms.

We'd paid for all inclusive, 3* hotel with everything including bedding and towels in the price. 3 * Twin rooms, one double for the couple. 2 of the twins had no running water, the double and 2 of the twins had bathrooms that could only be described as "smeared in shit". The air-con in all rooms seemed to function, but we soon realised that there were more cockroaches coming out of the vents than cool air. The beds had no mattress, just one of those camping matts over the wooden slats. Sheets? Nope. On investigation, in the small print, we saw the surcharge of £40 per person for a sheet and a towel. According to the hotel, the camping mattress was enough for most people.

We got through the first night sitting in reception and complained to the manager. We were told that they were the only available rooms and as we had stayed one night, we had forgone any chance of a refund. We had stayed about 30 mins in the room taking pictures but this was deemed enough.

We had breakfast before leaving, and this turned out to be the worst mistake. 3 of the party had the rotten shits about an hour after eating, which lasted a day, but Emma's ham omelette ended with a two day stay in hospital.

Camping and tents for the rest of the holiday meant the last 5 days were just peachy, but Hotel Palma, now a gigantic apartment block, you nearly did for us.
(The Kitchen Sink, Sun 30 Nov 2014, 22:30, Reply)