Tiger Lil's, Islington, Christmas 2002
One of my colleagues organised our work Christmas meal for the department in this restaurant. I guess when she herself didn't turn up it was something of a bad omen.

All you can eat and drink for £29.99! Woo yay!

Woo NO. For the uninitiated, Tiger Lil's serves Chinese food. Or rather, you go up and assemble your own plate of raw meat and vegetables, and one of a row of chefs toss it morosely about in a wok in front of you.

There were about 25 of us, together with large number of numpties from other organisations who also thought it would be a good idea to stand in a queue all night. As we surveyed all we COULDN'T eat, a unanimous decision was made to make the most of the all-you-can-drink (as long as it's house wine) aspect of the offer and we ordered a bottle of wine each to swig in the queue.

An hour and a half later, I watched in wonder as one of the chefs turned my towering pile of raw chicken and veg into a meal approximately the size of a postage stamp, only to lose it as soon as I sat unsteadily down to my mate who couldn't be arsed to queue and simply stole my dinner. Which was just as well, as it had a chunk of broken glass in it.

Any pretence of eating was abandoned shortly after and we determinedly got stuck into the plonk to ensure we got value for money. Much unpleasantness ensued. Our (supposedly gay)lead for Equality, Diversity and Preventing Harrassment rammed his hand down my bra ("But they just looked so SOFT"), a long-term extra marital affair commenced in the toilet and the HR Director left in disgust. I recall very little after.

I woke up the following morning with bruises all over my buttocks.

Suffice to say, I've not been back.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Fri 28 Apr 2006, 11:56, Reply)