the pizzler in sizzler
this story is one of my fondest memories of my younger cousin who passed away a few years ago from cancer and also a rather unpleasant dining experience.

when i was 9 or thereabouts my mum and i lived with my uncle and his famly in australia for about 6 months.

shortly after we'd arrived in the country the whole australian contingent of our family thought they'd take us to a sizzler restaurant for a big meal as we didnt really have big all you can eat buffet restaurants in england back then (1990) so it was something of a novelty.

the restaurant was heaving that night and we waited ages for our table to be ready, when we were finally seated i was sat with my two cousins at the end of the table and their mum disappeared to the other end to try and have a nice quiet meal.

the younger of my two cousins was only about 2 at the time and was playing up a bit as he wanted to run around and cause havoc (as any self respecting 2 year old might) but we made him sit down instead. once we'd started eating he complained he wanted to go to the toilet so i told his mum but she just ignored him (i think she'd partook of a little too much wine as was beyond caring if he made a scene). so his protests continue until it gets to the point he stops shouting and just stands up on his chair, drops his trousers and unleashes an arcing stream of piss through the air onto the table and all the food thereupon. his mum still doesnt really bat an eyelid so i jump up and pull his trousers up (i was a rather responsible 9 year old) and tell another adult what he'd done. cue a hasty request for the bill and an even hastier exit from the restaurant by our whole group. the look of shock on the faces of the other customers sticks with me until today but it was the one guy who was with his wife/girlfriend who saw it happen and laughed so hard he nearly choked that made it all the more priceless.

and that is my favourite memory of my departed cousin, the little pisser.
( HatBeard, Fri 28 Apr 2006, 13:29, Reply)