You are darker than she is
I went for a Chinese meal in the Oval a few years back with a few friends.

We ordered a wide variety of dishes from the menu, so would normally have been rather surprised and inclined to complain when our meal turned up and consisted of nothing but one gigantic platter of spare ribs piled a foot high.

However by this time we were much more interested to stay silent, eat up and watch the events unfolding at the next table.

A fat sweaty drunken Russian man in a bad wig had spent the past ten minutes or so sat alone singing along (rather poorly) to the music - Whitney/Maria/Celine/Christina type mush - then after each song he would turn to the girls at the table next to us, look longingly at them and say "this song is so beautiful" with a wistful tear in his eye.

After a few repetitions he got a bit bolder so pulled his chair up next to them. One was a very foxy black girl, the other a tall blonde Scandinavian type. He leant over to the former and said "in Russia I have a girlfriend. She is very beautiful like you. But you are different. You are darker than she is."

The reply was "fuck off you fat cunt or I'll stab you in the fucking eyes with these fucking chopsticks". He sat there for a second in confused silence - then burst into tears.

And stayed there. The girls did nothing, we did nothing (except look at each other in disbelief) - and everybody just carried on eating as if he wasn't there.

He was still sobbing when we left half an hour later.
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(Ali Bongo 9000 Ali Bongo 9000, Tue 2 May 2006, 16:01, Reply)