Crap meals outI'd chosen to take my in-laws to one of my favourite restaurants, only to discover it had changed hands the week before. We waited half an hour to get menus. The waitress broke the cork in the wine we ordered. She got our order wrong. The food was luke-warm, mine was overcooked, the rest was undercooked. After waiting another 40 minutes for the last course, we were told that we couldn't have any as the chef had "forgotten to de-frost the puddings".
Let's just say they didn't get a tip. Tell us of your crap meals out.
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chthonic, Thu 27 Apr 2006, 14:22)
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Cairns Kebab Massacre.....Again not strictly on topic as it was more of a take away experience than a sit down fiasco. While I was living in Australia 'way up norf' I used to go to a most excellent bar/nightclub called 'The Woolshed' also known as 'The backpackers Royal Dance Academy'. Anyhoo after another night of jug after jug of Victoria Bitter I leave the place at around 3am with a hunger so great I considered ringing Bob Geldof to stage a concert. I stopped at one of the many kebab/pizza counters along the esplanade and bought myself a lovely chicken kebab with plenty of garlic sauce and other assorted sauces lovingly wrapped in flimsy style takeaway paper. I start to drunkenley zig-zag my way back to my place munching on said kebab and pluck my eybrows and call me sally if I don't keep having to pick little bits of sauce soaked paper out of my teeth. But I've got the beer hunger so it's more than worth putting up with. I get to my front door and have one of those moments of drunken clarity thinking that I don't want to stain my nice jeans with all the sauce on my fingers, so kebab finished I look into one hand for a napkin and there's nothing to be found, 'bloody skinflits' thinks I. Nevermind I'll make the best job I can with the wrapper the kebab came in, I look into the other hand an all I see is kebab sauces and a set of keys. Now I'm normally a bit of a 'save the planet'/ 'keep the country tidy' type of bloke anyway, but especially so now that I was living in Oz and everywhere is so tidy. Gradually it dawns on me and I think to myself,"You sad greedy pissed-up bastard" Yep, I'd eaten it, a sheet of soggy kebab wrapper about the size of a sheet of A4 paper.
Got to say it made me feel pretty queasy but nothing matched the dissapointment the morning after when I went for my moring bathroom routine. I sat exciteley on the pot and let rip and turned to look in the bowl with a wide eyed, excited expreesion a kid has opening a window on their advent calender, you guessed it no little gift wrapped poo presents as I was expecting just your run of the mill morning after Golgothen shit demon.
Length? You wouldn't want it on your nose as a wart!!
(, Wed 3 May 2006, 10:00, Reply)
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