Double dealing Budgie breeding fuckers
As teenager my parents tried to force me into things I didnt like, just to live out their sad dreams through me. One of these was to keep Budgies and I fucking hated them.

Anyway they entered me into all these shows where we'd turn up an associate with a load of sad wankers until the judges finished viewing the birds. Interestingly enough the judges always reminded me of collection of elderly gentlemen who other interests know doubt would see there names appearing on some register.

I won. Woopee-Fucking-Doo. I'm the 1987 Llantrisant and District junior Budgerigar breeding champion.

I won a small trophy (crap), some rosettes (crapper) and £10. Now that would come in handy as I was about the age where Id found the value of low cost cider and bus stops, so I knew where that money would be going.

However, the organiser of the event sidled up to me and said everyone else who had won had donated the money back to help with the costs of holding the event next year. Having considered his request and disliking the fact that he waited until I was standing by my parents, so as to try to get full moral attention, I pissed on his chips by telling him where to go.

Day after, up to the local Spar in Tonyrefail where I purchased 8 cans of 7.5% Pulse Cider. Buy 4 get 4 free for £3.99 a shout. Drank the lot and was sick on my mothers kitchen floor and THATS WHY IT WAS THE BEST CRAPPY PRIZE EVER!

PS: The budgie that won died a fortnight later as it caught something or other, and I had to assist in its shuffling off its mortal coil. Therefore I snapped its neck but the little bastard had the last laugh as its head came off in my hand.
(If it could happen to me like that i'd shit my pants, Fri 5 Aug 2005, 11:20, Reply)