Cheese is Christ
In a fit of deli-counter boredom, I entered a competition to win a cheese platter. A couple of days later I got a phone call informing me of my need to collect said cheese platter.

I duely turned up, and was given a plastic tray, with attendant seethrough plastic dome. It was full of every permutation of cheese that the deli counter stocked, all wrapped up in clingfilm. Oh and a cursory bunch of grapes. Unfortunately no claret/port to go with the Stilton, bloody savages.

Unfortunately I had bicycled down there, and started bitching about how the hell was I supposed to get it home. At which point I was soundly ticked off for being such an ingrate, and grudgingly given a very thin black plastic sack.

It was while crossing a large carpark that the bag split, causing all manner of cheeses to distribute themselves around said car park. After collecting them and tieing up the bag again, I set off again.

Unfortunately the bag split again, this time as I was crossing a busy road. Again causing cheese to distribute themselves all over the road. I spent the next 5 minutes deftly dodging traffic to retreive said mercifully unharmed cheeses. I was then informed by a passerby that did I not know that cars were dangerous. After not swearing at her, and pointing out the remaining scattered cheeses, and that I'd just won them, she helped me get the remaining cheeses. I gave her the cambozola by way of thanks.

I lived on cheese for the next 2 weeks.

erm the end.

appologies for lenght, girth, the weather, etc
(ohmyliver, Wed 10 Aug 2005, 13:54, Reply)