MMM COFFEEE.
I'm just sat here, like Ogwen (albeit in another country), waiting for the new question... but I'm not Actually gonna try and bother with getting the first one as it's rather dull. I'm just going to wait for Ogwen to wear out his F5 key late into teh night, as I rekon Mod'n pals will cunningly make the switch after hours to ensure no silly "woo first-post" shenannigans.

So. The office coffee machine here in Sweden is a killer... it's got So many options and has just been retro-fitted with a sugar despenser. Not only that, but it's FREE!!

It used to be a "Wurlitzer" wich just made me giggle.. I'd imagine somone turning the handle on it and a monkey dancing on top... and rather fittingly, the coffee tasted a bit like monkey-wee, and that in turn always made me think of Weebl's mate "monkey". Mmmmm pie.

so... wehre was I . Oh yes.. Wurlitzer coffee machine. ow.. taht I THINK was the manufacture, but not so long ago, the compnay that supplies and stcks themachines was baught out, by a compnay called "SELECTA". Noone knows why I giggle by the machine now, muttering "and the crowd goes BO!-SeeeLeeehhhKtah." But I do. This has always been a thing.. You'd have to ask biskit whey that reminds me of Fiat Panda-automatics, But I guarnantee you'd not laugh if you knew. You'd just sit there and stare at me in a strange way, and while vowing NEVER to introduceme to your parents, siblings, Signiicant other or, infact, Maker.

Mm... so, With Free Coffe (Cafe Late's too) of extraordinary quality, I can be seen trolling backwards and forwards to the machine thoughout the day while getting dosed up to the eyeballs on caffiene. yuo'd have thought that I'd have learnt to use a decnt sized mug... but no. My desk is a living (litterally) tribute to the throw-away society that is the "SELECTA DISPOSABLE CUP". It's not unusual for me to erect the twin-plakky towers during a week's heavy coffee-consumption.

I wonder if Ogwen's still hitting F5... :o/

hmm.

Incedentally, I wrote a post about getting a remarkaby sore bell-end after an allergic reaction to Aqua-Glide Lube... You'll all probably be pleased to hear that All's cool like Fonzy now, and my tackle is well and truly kicking ass again. yay for me (and Mrs Humpty)

We've got a bit of a fruit fl problem here... The cleaners have gon on holiday, and the fruit flies have taken over... I bloody HATE those little bastards.. They're FAT, but small... lke the whining little fat kids on "fat farm" who keep on saying it's not their fault... and weasling out of excercise at school. Each time you try to swat them, they use Jedi-like mind tricks to convince you taht you've hit them.... and then they totally FAIL to re-appear. NO.. they're not flat on your hands.... and they're no longer airborne in the vicinity either... I mean.. how the HELL do they DO that???

Dod i mention our Coffee machine?? it's GREAT!!! tehy fill it up with Zoegas Skane-roast coffee.. *drooool* that stuff has the ability to create coffee with Bovril-like qualities. The stuff is Astoundingly tasty, and makes ANYTHIGN i've come accross in the UK taste like weak tea... Havin said that, Noone here can do a good English Breakfast.... I'm fully awaer of the fact that Actually cookign them turns me into a walking stereotype, but hell... it impresses!!! Mrs Humpty and I had 12 people staying the other day, and I single handedly cranked out enough Bacon, Fried Eggs, Eggy-Bread, black pudding, toast, hash-browns, Sausages, fried tomatoes and baked beans to feed a frikkin' ARMY. Best breakfast EVER, and they were.... blown away. It's the only english Stereotype I fulfill... I hate football... hmm I've got a good way with dealing with Swedes who ask what my fave Team is... I tell them that I favour no team, but always go ans sit with the hard-core fans at any footy game, becuase I LOVE the fighting.

I'm Quite well-built and have short hair... so Arse.. So I fill the Hooligan-look Stereotype :o(

The other one that I enjoy playing with is the "don't beat your kids...it's bad mmmmkay".

since 1512, the peace-loving swedes have been living without hitting thier kids. They think that us brits are, infact barbaric. So... When asked "Are you ever going to return to the UK" I now have a standard Answer... "yes, Mrs Humpty and I are gonna go back before we have kids"
They like that... then they ask why.
"Because I want to be able to beat the shit out of them"
they don't like that...
"Becuase My dad beat the shit out of me, and I'm looking forward to ebating the shit out of THEM" (yes, I know its A Dennis Leary line, but they don't know that do they??)

So.. 2 cups down since I started writing this post, and onto the Third. This one's a Cafe Au Lait, with extra sugar. It really IS rather satisfying you know.

So um.... Porn.Anyone like Porn? I suggest www.jizzhut.com to be honest.. it's all free. So..

hmm.. getting bored now.

Yet... there's more. Just had an argument online with a Merkin who was slagging off teh UK for having Tax on petrol... you know they pay less than half what we do??

anyhow.. he was making claims that the taxes we have a purely punitive... and that we tax everything an we suck. this is teh SAME guy who has just ben made bankrupt after getting a $35,000 medical bill, because his country doesn't have an NHS-type-scheme...

Idiot.

I usually proof read my offerings here, but today I can't be arsed. you'll have to suffer. "Teh" means THE... etc. you'll get teh hang of it. After years of obsessive self-abuse, my left hand is not as fast as my right, even though it wins wherever strength is concerened... that's why it's a bit slow on teh "h" in the. Ooh.. got it then....

Wascally Wizzeasel has it right... though I'm not in suspense... i'm just bored. I SHOULD be working, chsing up arts that are missing and are vitally needed in Spain.. But I can't be arsed. at the avge of 15 I decided I wanted to be an engineer... I thought woohoo... I want to build stuff... not sit infront of a computer.... yeah yeah... heard it before, it backfired. Here I am, bored, whacked off my tits on Caffiene, and surfing teh Web in Sweden. Shit... could be worse...

these coffees ar rather small really.. tehy don't last long. I guess that they give it away in small cups so that we don't cost them too much... I think I might have to insulate a pinit-mug and start double-tapping the machine to get enough out of it.

Nr 4.... This one's a Stright up, as you come Black one. Jeeeeez it kicks. This would make GW Bush look awake and smart...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 11 Aug 2005, 14:10, Reply)