Red-faced brother
I have plenty of cringeworthy episodes of my own but nothing tops the embarrassment that befell my brother on his stag night a few years back.

After starting off with a bit of a pub crawl on the South Bank and getting well tanked up, we headed off to our final stop of the evening, The Comedy Store, where tickets had been booked for all of us.

A comedy club. On his stag night. What on earth was he thinking?

Anyway, about halfway through the evening, the MC said, "I believe that A (my brother) is here tonight and he's getting married next week to N, let's all give him a big hand!"

(Cue applause, spotlight shines on brother, audience all look his way)

The MC continued, "Of course, I understand he's used to giving himself a big hand, too!"

(Audience guffaws in anticipation. Brother goes red).

"And it's thanks to his mum that A and N lasted more than a couple of weeks, isn't that right, A?"

(Audience silent, wondering where this one is going. Brother goes pale).

"Apparently, the first time N came to stay at the house where A lived with his parents, A realised as soon as he and N walked through the door that he'd forgotten to hide his substantial stash of porn mags that morning and they were sitting on his bedside table with a box of Kleenex man-size tissues next to them - and it was only by taking his mum to one side and whispering to her to quickly go upstairs and conceal the evidence that the scenario was avoided of N, who is a bit of a feminist, storming out and going back to her own parents that night. What a great mum, eh?".

Well, that brought the house down, or at least everyone except my brother, who had by now gone beetroot-coloured.

Some people were coming up to him later in the bar, saying "Wow, your mum sounds really cool" (she was, and we still miss her).

Others were just pointing at him and sniggering.

This was the first time I'd ever heard this story and I was torn between pissing myself laughing, and keeping a stony face to display solidarity with my brother. Needless to say, I chose the former.

Luckily, the best man decided not to use this story in his speech, but I may have mentioned it separately to Mrs Capo, and possibly to my sisters as well.

I'm pretty sure his wife has no idea to this day (and I'm certainly not going to be the one to tell her).

And gents - choosing a comedy club as a venue for your stag night is NEVER a good idea.
(Capo, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:41, Reply)