Back when I was thin!
in the mid 80's, when I was still playing in a band we were booked to do a new years eve gig at a big pub/club place.

We were to do a 90 minute set from 9pm until 10:30ish, when a DJ would take over to whip the plebs into a frenzy for midnight.

It was going really well, we were doing a bluesy, light rock cover set with a couple of our own in there, out of 300 people in the place, almost 100 were at the front of the stage watching or dancing like drunken spastics

And then it happened!

The landlady/manageress of the place, a little worse for wear staggered up to the stage and insisted she do her "party piece" of stand by your man!

You've all seen the blues brothers right .... it felt like that, chicken wire, our singer doing the dance behind the drunken leviathan etc .... the singer handed over the mike to the landlady (think Dolly Parton only much rounder with her boobs down by her bellybutton and the powerful square shoulders that only an ex professional boxer or transexual can have).

We did our best, she was slurring and aweful beyond belief and we were treated to the sight of a club full of 300 people staring at us, slack jawed in abject cringing horror!.

It got worse. As a finale she stumbled backwards and fell into the drums displaying to all and sundry that she was knickerless, not a natural blonde and long long overdue for some brazilian gardening!

Her husband was very apologetic afterwoulds, but ... again in a mirror of the blues brothers deducted our drinks (which we thought were complimentry) out of our fee.

Bastards!
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:09, Reply)