Damn you comic timing
Years ago I was down the pub with my mate Neil, the pub was packed and a juke box was blaring so you had to shout to be heard. I was explaining to Neil how all the fields near my parents house were bright yellow because the farmer had planted oilseed-rape, unfortunately the jukebox finished and there was one of those quiet pauses just as I shouted "RAPE". Every head in the pub turned to stare at me, I was mortified but I had no chance to explain myself as the jukebox started up again. Neil was absolutely fuck-all help, he had laughed in the process of drinking and a geyser of lager had erupted from his nose drenching the immediate vicinity in beer and snot. I am actually cringing as I type this and Neil has never let me forget that night:

Neil: "Guess what?"
Me: "What?"
Neil: "RAAAAAPE!"

*Phone rings*
Me: "Hello?"
Voice: "RAAAAAPE!"
*Click*

...along with dozens of emails, text messages and voicemails all shouting "RAPE!". I still won’t check my answer phone messages if there is someone in the room who may get the wrong idea about 10 consecutive messages all shouting "RAAAAAPE!"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:25, 8 replies)

RAAAAAAAAAAAPE!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:41, closed)

Neil?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:43, closed)

Just as well you're not working on the reception desk at a police station
*Rings*
Col D: Hello?
Voice: RAAAAPE! I'm being..
Col D: Yes, very good Neil...
*click*

After all, we all know what happened to the boy who cried rape wolf...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:09, closed)

Ha Ha!
yup, the same thing had crossed my mind.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:24, closed)

I like this story
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!

But my god, that must have been a boring conversation up to that point!
(G-Lo, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 21:13, closed)

Well there's not much to talk about in the country
besides incest and farming (which often boil down to the same thing).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 10:11, closed)

You do realise...
... that if you get married in the future (if not already) then the following could happen:

Vicar/priest "If anyone knows of any reason why these two may not be married, they may speak now or forever hold their piece"
Neil, from the back of the church "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!"
You "Fucker!"
(Mmmmminty all the beatles are aliens except for George, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 21:56, closed)

I wouldn't put it past Neil
Mental note to self: Don't invite Neil to my wedding (if ever such a thing happens).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 10:16, closed)