when i first moved to london
i had a wonderfully cramped little shithole of a flat in oval. it was the first floor of a townhouse, with a columbian family above us and newlyweds with child beneath.
thankfully there was absolutely no sound insulation in the place so it went down a treat when i used my entire student loan on a pair of decks and a big fuckoff amplifier.
my pride and joy took pride of place in our tiny living room, set up on a dining table where you could effectively play to the living room, with your back to the living room window.

about this window. it was plastered by foliage. if you so much as opened it, you'd get half a tree, replete with blackbirds, squirrels and half a billion aphids right in the mush. as it stood, i couldn't see out onto the street very well. nor could you see in, if you went down onto the street to check.

and so it came to be that a young monk learnt his dj chops, usually from about 9:30am onwards. monk sleeps naked. monk wakes naked after housemate has left. monk clambers behind decks every morning. butt naked.

fast forward three years of blissful, drunken, loud shenanigans later. i'm at AKA above The End, and am skullfucking myself with absinthe when a beautiful young thing saunters right up to me, a playful smile on her face.

'Don't I know you?' says she.
'I'm sure you may...' fap.
'I think you live on Offley Road, in Oval, don't you?'
'Number 33, that's me!' fap fap.
'I watch you dj every morning from my window across the street. you always look like you're having a lot of fun.'
no fap.
cringe.
( the brass moustache putting the ass moust in brache since, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:28, 3 replies)

if she'd seen you naked
and was approaching you, surely that's a good thing?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:37, closed)

Depends what she said next.
If, indeed, she said anything. She might have pointed and laughed.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:02, closed)

Ahem
And she then went on to remark how you were well endowed from her view from across the road. And how if you like you can come over hers and see what she can see from her room.. SCORE!

oh well, never mind.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:09, closed)