Drum roll maestro
At the pretentious grammar school I reluctantly went to, my participation in additional activities was minimal (they didn't play football ffs). However, at 14, I was persuaded to play percussion in the school's 2nd orchestra (yes, apparently 1 orchestra wasn't enough).
This was no problem for me as I was a drummer and my parts were simple jobs like banging a bass drum or clashing cymbals. Easy.

If I had known the horror that awaited me I would definitely have stayed clear.

The first big performance came around and all the various school musical acts were out in force - orchestras, choirs, bands etc.
All the local top knobs were there, from the board of governors to local mayors etc.
Also sat proudly in the audience was my dad, himself a former drummer, eagerly awaiting the first live performance from his son. The audience were sat below the stage, which was nothing more than a series of staggered layers (think huge steps). Anticipation hung in the air...

Leaving nothing to chance, I had made sure all my equipment was set up beforehand. However when the time came for us to take the stage I was horrified to see that whichever group/band/orchestra was on before us had moved it all. Panicking, I started running around trying to find my missing gear while the rest of the orchestra was seated and waiting patiently.

I found the cymbals quickly and put them down. Bemused silence was punctuated with the occasional stifled giggle from the audience.
I then managed to locate the bass drum right at the top and started taking it back when, it slipped out of my now profusely sweating hands...

*BOOM*
roll
*BOOM*
roll
*BOOM* *CRASH* (cymbals went flying)
roll
*BOOM*
roll
*OUCH!

Yes, the bass drum rolled right down the various levels of the stage. In what seemed like slow motion I gave chase. Each drop made a louder bang and I could see the face of the headmaster coming closer into view. Off the stage it rolled, onto the floor and flew straight into the knee of the aforementioned disciplinarian. I came skidding to a halt just short of crashing into him myself, my now blood-drained face inches away from the steam-emitting demonic vision that held sway over my academic success. Nothing could save my now from eternal punishment...

...except for the now uncontrolled laughter which had broken out all around us.

Every man, woman, boy and girl in the house was secreting tears of hilarity. The headmaster looked around and composed himself, before giving a hearty laugh himself. I squeaked a small "sorry", picked up my drum and returned to the stage.

My Dad reckons it was the best concert he's ever seen. And that is how I became known as the drum roll maestro.
(dahogga is exiting stage left, pursued by a bear, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 12:24, 1 reply)

Ahaha!
Drum roll... best mental image EVAR!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:29, closed)