Pearoast from some time last year
About 10 years ago our football team was having its usual monthly riotous night out. Myself and another player in the team picked up what could loosely be termed as females and were invited back to one of their houses.

After a quick discussion on the pros and cons, (they were both a bit on the large side but a shag is a shag in the end) we decided to go back with them.

After having done the deed, taking ages to locate the hole among the layers of fat, I decided to go to sleep, so the thing beside me puts on her knickers and a t-shirt and announces she is ready to sleep too.

I awoke in the early hours of the morning, feeling the worse for wear and dying for a piss, I had no idea where the toilet was and as it was a fairly big house I couldn't be arsed wandering about looking for it. I must have drifted back to sleep because I awoke soon after and could feel myself just about to empty my bladder.

My 'conquest' was in a deep sleep next to me, facing me,so I turned towards her and pissed over the front of her massive pants and over her thighs and sheets. I shook her awake and said "Er,I think you have had an accident in your sleep" or words to that effect. She was totally mortified, she burst into tears and begged me not to say anything. I promised I wouldn't and she was that grateful, she gave me a blowjob before I left.

I still have no idea to this day what possessed me to do such a deed, I told one of mates about it a day or 2 after the event, instead of the expected reaction of him pissing himself laughing, he looked at me in complete disgust and said I was a dirty bastard.

I'm not the complete cunt you probably think I am, I have no idea why I did it, but thinking back to it makes me cringe like fuck.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:06, 10 replies)

does the cringeworthiness come from the fact that isn't true?
I've heard this story many times from the internet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:27, closed)

I can assure you

it is 100% true.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:29, closed)

fortunately for you
I am the sort of person who can believe that something can happen to someone, as well is it being an urban legend.

and I'm feeling magnanimous today, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Kneel and warm yourself in the glow of my benevolence
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:31, closed)

^
Cheers mate, to be honest I've never read about that happening to anyone else.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:42, closed)

Don't!!!
He'll piss on you. I read about people who do that on the internets.
(Rsoles, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:58, closed)

Tucker max
anyone?
(J.T Squid, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:06, closed)

in tucker's story
i think she actually pissed in his bed.
(bucsie, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 14:20, closed)

Well
he pissed himself in his bed and made her think it was him.

She wrote him a cheque for a new mattress.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 0:20, closed)

As the token fat chick here
please don't piss on any more fat girls, ok?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 18:17, closed)

I only did it once, and I still cringe when I think back to it.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 8:06, closed)