Proper Cunning.
If only I could get off my butt and do something with these ideas, I'd surely be richer than Sugar. Or possibly slumped in a doorway, craving an entirely different white crystaline substance.

Anyway, I claim 'I thought of it first' rights on these awesome ideas:

1) Atheist burials. This idea is from a while back, but back then, they certainly didn't have any company offering alternative/atheistic burials in Bournemouth. You had dig out some holy guy who barely even knew the sadly deceased - at vast expensive - to say some generic fill-in-the-blanks words in a (frankly) embarassed fashion, while we all sat and craved ham rolls.

If you knew the newly deceased would rather die than be sent off by a priest (yeah, I know, haha) then it cheapens the whole ceremony. And what is a funeral but ceremonial closure for the living, after all?

If I could operate out of a populous enough area, I'd reckon there would be a decent turnover for the altenative burial scene. I suspect I've been beaten to it on this one, though. Pity I was too young to go for it.

2) Tinted hair gel. At last, a product to subtly dye while it styles, covering up that hint of grey and promoting firm hold!

I think this would have a good sell amongst those vile twits who feel the need to daily splurge their heads with gel; you know, the ones who have combed it back so ruthlessly you can see their greasy scalps. That kind of twit would surely be vain and stupid enough to buy hair-gel with a bit of food-dye in it, no?

3) Turn erotic slash fiction into a best-seller. Well, its making E L James rich: I'd find a couple of longish slash fiction stories on the net, change the names and pad them out with any other old slash fiction I could find, and sell it as a book. Some frustrated fat teen from Croydon is hardly going to claim copyright infringement over their porno writing. Profit!
(IChewCandlewax, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 16:51, 3 replies)

Tinted hair gel exists. When i was a metaller i used it to darken and straighten my long goldilocks.
(tyrellsOwl, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 17:33, closed)

So you want to "invent" a number of things that have been common for decades?
Fuck. Somebody call the Einstein Club, we've found the new President.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:00, closed)

Humanist funerals have been around for ages
www.humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/humanist-funerals-memorials
(ubergeekian, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:37, closed)