The dreaded Snowy stealth attack...
Growing up, I used to get sent to youth club in the local Church on a Thursday night while my parents went to the Social club opposite for a well-deserved break from child-rearing.

It was generally good fun. They had a pool table, table tennis, a tuckshop, and a garden where we could run around, off our heads on e-numbers and sugary sweets, and kick a football about. The only problem was, there were a couple of rough kids there who were always looking for fights. Being about 10, it was only ever a bit of rough and tumble, so as long as you gave as good as you got you'd probably go home with a few bruises and nothing much more - it certainly wasn't bad enough to make you want to miss out on youth club and sit at home instead.

Anyway, we still got a bit fed up of this and as a result me and my friend George used to discuss how we'd deal with these bullies if they had a go at us, and hatch cunning plans for self-preservation (generally of the sort that involved me kicking one of them in the bollocks then us both legging it- George was quite timid)

One day we were playing table tennis in the main hall, and two of these lads came over and tried to force us off the table. We'd decided to try a new tactic. Rather than fight them head on, I was going to take advantage of the dark - I think I might have got this idea from watching cartoons or Batman or something.

'George,' I demanded with a flourish 'turn out the lights!'

So he did. He hit the switch on the wall next to him, and I put my fiendish plan into action, getting myself in position to pounce by climbing on the highest object nearby (again, you may observe here that many of my fighting techniques were learnt from TV, in this case WWF). Unfortunately, in this case the highest object nearby was the table tennis table, which promptly folded itself closed as I jumped onto it, leaving me on the floor in a heap, with a sprained ankle.

Hearing the huge clatter and then my moans, George turned the light back on to reveal to our opponents my shameful failure to execute a stealthy attack.

It kind of worked though. They were so bemused that they just stood there for a few moments, staring, then walked off.

Victory was mine!
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 9:17, Reply)