bad things do happen in the dark
But never to me. This is a story of a bad thing I (accidentally) inflicted on others.

I'd just moved to London and not knowing anyone I hooked up one evening with a large group of people who were going to a trance night at a club called [Club Name Removed At Request of Promoters]

Trance is really not my thing - I got quickly (very) bored and retired on my own to the darkened upstairs room of the club where I discovered two things: 1) A large quantity of ketamine in a wrap on a bench, which I foolishly ingested and 2) Large buckets of Playdoh scattered around which the mashed up denizens of the club would sit around and play with ("oooh, it feels so goooood"). Weird, but it was that kind of club.

The ketamine took hold (and, as was my custom), I needed to vom. The nearest receptacle was the bucket of playdoh right in front of me and I spent the best part of what seemed like 10 minutes copiously filling this container with a mixture of lumpy bile, half digested cornish pastie, cheap cider and (the standard) carrots (why do you always puke up carrots, regardless of whether you've eaten any or not!?). Yep, I'm classy, me.

After I'd finished, I surveyed the damage: squidy playdoh immersed in a solution that looked like goatsee's arse gravy.

Fuck.

I'd only got as far as thinking I should dispose of the playdoh when the ket took hold with a vengeance and I collapsed renton-like back onto the sofa, completely unable to move, the ket-elephant sitting on my chest, but being totally conscious.

For the next hour or so I could only lie there in a paranoid shame filled panic as clubber after clubber would come along, sit down, and play with the playdoh ("Oooooh, it feels ssoooo niiiice") before moving on.

I haven't been back there.
( rofl harris, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 12:40, 2 replies)

It's not carrots...
It's part of your stomach lining.

Vomiting causes your stomach to contract violently and bits of your stomach lining come away. it just looks like carrots.
(Andy-Bhoy I'm here all week, try the veal., Mon 27 Jul 2009, 12:56, closed)

click
just for "the ket-elephant" :)
( wingphil, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 13:25, closed)