Zombie Assaults and rather po'd girlfriends
This one goes back a few years; I had rather an obsession with the oncoming Zombie Apocalypse. Mostly from the Zombie Survival Guide and watching too many zombie flicks. Anyway, I was a young lad and had just moved out of home for the first time with my then girlfriend of 6 months.

Now, I've always been rather active in my sleep, carrying out full conversations or just yelling random things at people. (Was also informed that I have engaged in carnal acts while completely asleep). Fortunately, my then girlfriend was blissfully unaware of any of this, and recounted this story to me in shock the following morning.

It was the middle of the night, after having fallen asleep reading the zombie survival guide, I suddenly and without warning leap clear out of our bed, ran to the door and pushed our rather substantial wardrobe in front of it in a blind panic waking up the missus, who comes to calm me down. At this point, without saying a thing I heft our king sized bed onto its side and ram it against the wall. Satisfied with this act, I turned to my partner who asks (well, screams. Apparently she doesn't get sleep walker etiquette)

"What the hell?" to which I calmly replied
"Didn't you watch the news? We're under attack. They're coming".
"Who's coming?" asks my rather indignant girlfriend.
"The living dead!"

She doesn't tell me what happened after this, but I woke up the following morning with a rather peculiar bruise on my jaw.
(dragoom, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 2:58, 1 reply)

Brilliant
I fucking love the Zombie Survival Guide, at least when I'm awake.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 11:12, closed)