The price of life - 40 pence
I'm beginning to think this QOTW is quite menacingly requesting I unearth a lot of my childhood antics on the basis that I was - and come to think of it, still am - a bit of a stupid reckless dolt with all the common sense of sour cream.

One thing I noticed as a lad was that the nose acts as highly reliable storage for small change. We've all thought of it. Tell me you haven't stuck a coin up your nose. If you haven't, do so now. I'll wait.

...


I discovered at school that a 10 pence piece can fit quite snugly up there without being too tedious to pull out. At the awe of my fellow students, I was encouraged to do a Johnny Rotten and degrade all my principles for cash. A couple of minutes later, I've got 40 pence up there. '30p profit, I'll be at the tuck shop if anyone needs me', I think.

And then I sneezed what can only be described as a metric fuckload of blood and silver across the playground. Went home and told my Grandad what had happened only to be slapped round the head for doing such a stupid thing as leaving the money on the floor 'for the Jews to claim'

No pleasing some people.
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Thu 12 Feb 2009, 22:01, Reply)