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This is a question Darwin Awards

Bluffboy says: My mate cheated death and burned his eyebrows off looking down the barrel of a potato gun. Tell us about your brushes with the Grim Reaper through stupidity.

(, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 20:01)
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I always look forwards to the weekend...
..... to have the sunday potatoes, pumpkin, carrots and a PEAROAST..!!


And then there's the part two:

Decoking 2 stroke expansion chambers with a drill and a length of old brake cable.

Attaching a 3ft length of flexible cable to a hand drill, inserting the cable down the exhaust and pulling the trigger really won't budge the soot, as I found out - it's just like trying to use a 3ft long 4mm drill bit. Straight as a die. So I grabbed the cable and kinked it into half a dozen bends so it looked like a zig-zag.

Now we have some action - a LOT of clanging and rattling inside the exhaust as the bent cable spins wildly at somewhere around the drill's 2000RPM. Stop. Bang pipe and dislodge a handfull of soot. Nice. And repeat.

I really could not believe how much crap was coming out... even after half a dozen sorties of clanging and cleaning. So, to speed up the process I start to "drill" the cable in and out of the pipe hoping to get the kinks into bends that may have been missed.

It was all going swimmingly until I pulled the spinning drill out just a little too far out of the exhaust and am now faced, literally, with a madly flailing 3ft long, 4mm thick "whipper snipper".

Bear in mind that I was sitting and holding the exhaust between my legs, so when the helicoptering wire broke loose I managed to let go of the exhaust and cover my face with one free hand as I released the trigger of the drill in the other. The exhaust, now free to fall to the ground and in doing so exposes the one place I should have protected FIRST.

And that is when I remembered about momentum - the wire swung another couple of revolutions throuh the air and cut a terrifying arc in a whipping fashion, missing BOTH my legs. But the pain I felt from what it DID hit was tremendous.

That was over 20 years ago and I think my voice is only now starting to return to the lower registers.

So true to the Darwin Awards nomination criteria, Ladies and Gentlemen, that is how I very nearly did wipe away all possibilities of my adding to the gene pool. Thankfully I didn't receive enough votes for the win and was allowed to father the two children I now have.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 5:14, 3 replies)
Nicely written,
Made me laugh too.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 9:27, closed)
that's a fucking good read, cheers, mate!
(, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 9:41, closed)
Nicely written.
(, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:17, closed)

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