Sit down! Or, er ... don't ...
I grew up in the Somerset countryside, and as such climbed trees a lot. My friends and I developed an excellent method of getting up trees quickly: a long length of rope with a stout stick tied to the end. Throw the stick over a high branch, lower it down, then sit astride it. Pull yourself up to the branch with the rope, hold the rope and grab the branch - bosh - job's a good 'un.

And so we "climbed" many a-tree this way.

One day I was walking through a very large field, on a beautifully sunny day in the late spring. The skylarks were singing, and little fluffy clouds chased each other across the sky. The grass in the field was already quite long - waist-height to my nine-year old self - the morning's dew was still fresh on it, and the ground was damp and cloggy from the night's rain. The field was about a mile long, uphill, and after half a mile I was a little tired. I wanted to sit down, but couldn't due to the grass being wet.

Then I had an idea. I had my rope and stick with me. Going up trees ... I would sit on the stick ...

I put the stick between my legs ...

Held onto the rope ...

And promptly fell over backwards.


Length? About 20 feet.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)