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This is a question Darwin Awards

Bluffboy says: My mate cheated death and burned his eyebrows off looking down the barrel of a potato gun. Tell us about your brushes with the Grim Reaper through stupidity.

(, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 20:01)
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The Little Green Dragon
So, there I was, building a kit car. Not a crappy little airfix thing, I hasten to add, but a proper, hell-for-leather Sylva Striker Mk2. A small, but nevertheless quick-off-the-mark Lotus-7 style vehicle, capable of taking roundabouts at impressively high speeds, and going up Harlech Hill at a rate which most motorcyclists would find impressive, never mind sports car owners.

This is all in the future, however, as I and my dad are currently trying to get the 1300 Kent X-flow engine to fire after being rebuilt, which it is failing to do, despite copious amounts of "quickstart".

Unfortunately we haven't realised that the distributor has been put on 180 degrees out - a common problem with that type of engine.

So, what does my dad do?

He takes out a spark plug, and earths it next to the spark plug hole, to see if we're getting a spark.

This is not a clever thing to do.

As the ignition turns, the engine sucks in a mixture of petrol and air, which, instead of being compressed, is expelled through the open plug-hole..which happens to be just right next to a sparking plug.

The results were impressive, to say the least - about three metres of flame. What was really impressive, though, was the speed my father moved - unfortunately not fast enough.

He stood there, face blackened, shivering, looking like something out of a bad comedy show.

Then his eyebrows fell off, as did his quiff.

The fire had neatly carbonized them both. One millimetre more and it would have been off to the serious burns clinic, but that didn't stop the rest of us from rolling around laughing.

From that day on, the car was known as "The Little Green Dragon".

EDIT: It should be pointed out that my family were no strangers to the smell of burning hair. For years we had a gas stove where you had to light the oven with a match, and if you weren't quick enough, lost all the hair on your arm.

These safety-conscious days, gas stoves are no fun at all.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:43, closed)
Ha!
I like that, cheers!!!
(, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 16:01, closed)

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