I wanted to be Kung Fu
When I was about 10 or 11, I was addicted to the escapades of Kwai Chang Cain (bad spelling, I know) on Saturday evening's Kung Fu. This was when Saturday TV was all about family viewing and violence where no-one got hurt, think Dukes of Hazard and The A Team. Halcyon days.
Anyway the opening sequence to Kung Fu, had our hero going through various painful trials as an acolyte before moving on to become a master. I was always inspired by this as any pre-teenage boy should be in the Seventies, and needed to show my mates how cool I was. Riding around on a Grifter, when a Chopper was de riguer, fueled my feelings of inadequacy.
Anyway, one afternoon, we were down messing about by the stream, looking for rats or something, I can't remember, when I found a perfectly straight stick. An idea quickly formed in my impressionable mind, and quick as a flash, I pulled out my penknife. This was at a time when any youngster could carry a knife without fear of police harassment. I sharpened a point on the stick, and hefted it in my young hands.
"Paul", I shouted, "Can you throw this at me?"
Paul, ever eager to be some sort of cro-magnon hunter, readily agreed.
He took up position on one side of the stream, I on the other. I did various Kung Fu style warm ups, adding the odd jump kick in for good measure, whilst all my mates milled about looking interested rather than impressed.
When I was ready, I stood in a pose I hoped was one Cain would have used, and a bit nervous now, called "Ready!".
The spear - for now that was what it was - sped through the air, with unerring accuracy straight at my head. At this point my Kung Fu skills failed me, and I felt an explosion in my face.
Supposedly all my so-called friends pissed themselves laughing before running over to help me. Writhing on the floor, I thought I had lost an eye, and it was only through repeated assurances that I calmed down enough to examine the wound. The spear had hit my cheekbone and the swelling had already closed my left eye. The skin had been punctured, but for some reason it wasn't bleeding too badly.
Thinking back on the episode, I reckon that had it hit my eye, it would have carried on through the eye socket into the brain and killed me.
I am sure that if YouTube had existed I would have been an internet sensation, oh well.
(leancranker, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 10:29, 3 replies)

Oy!
You!

I've trade-marked the phrase "Halycon days".

Give it back or my Shysters, Sue, Grabbit & Runne will be in touch.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 10:48, closed)

Hate to piss on anyones chips but "Halycon days" has occurred no less than 2138 times in the past 2 QOTWs!

Tbh "Salad Days" is criminally underused.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 10:51, closed)

Kingfisher surprise
As`I remember it, Halcyon is to do with the Greek and their obsession with Kingfishers. So I reckon if anybody can complain about the overuse of their phtase, it should be Aristotle...
(leancranker, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:02, closed)