Oh yeah, oh baby yeah....
It was unexpected, but pleasant. The kids where at their grandparents and we had the house to ourselves. It was a rare thing for us, so we wasted no time at all.

Clothes were ripped off in the passion. No regard was shown for buttons or zips, we simply didn't care. We felt like two young lovers, eagerly and excitedly exploring each other for the first time. We both knew that it would be great, which made it feel even better.

It was energetic, passionate, fierce, hot, sweaty and any other words you can think of. It wasn't long before the inevitable though, I knew it was my moment to send a few million potential children to a guys only party. I lay back, and then, at the precise moment I was due to do my thing......

The only way I can think to describe it would be to say it's the only time in my life where I actually wished I was dead. The pain that went surging through my brain and my neck, followed by the debilitating numbness which left me unable to speak, unable to move almost, and unable to focus on anything was quite possibly the most awful feeling I have ever experienced.

It didn't get any better either. My wife was in a panic, the man who was, seconds before, energetically 'sorting her out' was now a mass of trembling incoherent flesh.

Later, at the hospital, they were taking no chances. I was strapped to a stretcher and subjected to a CAT scan. They put me on a drip and they monitored my every move. I was subjected to a flock of tests, they checked my vision, my senses, my reflexes, my responses, my blood, my urine...everything. In the end they subjected me to a lumbar puncture which is quite unpleasant (large needle in your spine so as to asses the fluid content from the area within the vertebra). In the end they found nothing, but made me come back frequently for check ups as there were fears, initially at least, that I might have suffered a brain embolism. I still have to take it easy now, when, you know, on the job.

So there you have it, for a moment, I thought I was going to be killed by the one and only thing I like doing: Sex. Still, if that does happen it'll be a hell of a story for the lads down the pub!
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:23, 3 replies)

Now fears the embolism of doom.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:47, closed)

You should.
It's a real thing, they refer to it as a 'sex headache' honestly!

The thing is, mine was so severe that they were genuinely concerned that it could be indicating a weakness in my noggin, so they were taking no chances. Fun and games.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 14:51, closed)

I feel your pain!
Happened to me when my current missus (who was a new missus at the time) was having fun with me and I suddenly had this weird feeling like the entire back of my head had been punched and then it sorted of diffused around to the front following lines!

It freaked the shit out of me!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:46, closed)