Tractor Racing
A few years ago I was earning beer money for Uni over the summer doing farming work. Having spent my first summer there breaking my back picking strawberries, apples and raspberries I was 'promoted' during my second year to the dizzy heights of tractor driver.

The thing you must understand about collecting fruit on a tractor is that it involves about thirty minutes of madly rushing about followed by about 30 minutes of doing very little. During this quiet time much fun involving tractors could be had.

One gentleman I will call Adam (for that is his name), invented a game in which a heavy load was put on the back of the tractor and all the balancing weights taken off the front, and so the sport of tractor wheelies was born. As both rear wheels on a tractor can be independantly braked, steering isn't a problem. Points were awarded for overall distance and how high the front wheels are from the ground.

I was partaking in a particularly advanced game of tractor wheelie when my foot slipped off the clutch, the tractor wheelied, kept on going and tossed me out of the seat onto the ground. It then carried on going wheels pointed skywards as it was still in gear.

Rather than worry about my head which I had just cracked on the ground, 'Fucknuts' I thought, 'how am I going to explain this to the boss?' as the tractor crashed into a tree. Luckily there was no real damage to the tractor and I told my boss I had tripped and bashed my head.

I got the rest of the day off and tractor wheelies was retired as a sport.

Length? The tractor went about 30m before hitting the trees!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 21:01, Reply)