Cider Man. Cider Man. Does whatever a Cider Man can...
A friend went away to Uni and returned with a love of cider. His ability to drink the appley nectar wasn't quite in line with his fondness for it, and he was frequently ruined within a few pints.

Our first grand reunion led to much merriment, with everyone excited to be back from our respective palaces of learning and wisdom; and Cider Man indulged his love of cider by drinking lots and lots of it. As you may expect from a man who loves cider, I suppose.

The cold November eve drew to a close and our merry band of drunks and wasters decided to wander along by the river; like in the old days, those few months before. Stood on the bank chatting, we watched Cider Man begin to make the first few tentative steps in our direction, before swiftly picking up speed and charging headlong into the icy waters below.

He refused to return immediately to his parental home, where warm clothes and relief from the on set of hypothermia awaited, instead insisting on coming with us to drink more and perhaps smoke a little. So we gave up on our protests and he squelched along in our wake.

All of a sudden he ran wildly through the middle of our little group and leapt into what I must admit looked like being a very welcoming hedge, with the intention of bouncing back onto the path, or so I assume. Reality wasn't to be kind to him, however, and he disappeared for the second time that evening with a merry "WEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee deep into the sunken garden the hedge was hiding about 10ft below.

He sheepishly climbed back through the hedge, forsaking the otherwise sensible steps and gate combination only a few meters to his side, and marched with a swerving, wobbly determination in the general direction of his parental abode.

Somehow he still drunkenly stalks the planet, his Cider sense tingling whenever he's in presence of his beloved liquor. We gave him to the Australians sometime ago, but I don't think they've helped diminish his fondness for the stuff; ensuring he remains, forever, Cider Man.
( Moey, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 15:51, 5 replies)

Fantastic!
What a hero!

Perhaps one day he'll build up a tolerance though and then you'll have no stories!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 16:02, closed)

Have no fear.
Work has already begun on creating Gin Boy.

I will be entertained by drunk friends, whether they like it or not.
( Moey, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 16:17, closed)

Gin?!?!?
Evil stuff!

Although I do wish you success in your endeavours!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 16:29, closed)

Clicky
for post title alone!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 4:49, closed)

That was my favourite bit of it, too.
The rest of the post was merely a footnote.
( Moey, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 10:09, closed)