Crystal Golf
I still shudder at this some 20 odd years later. Me and a pal were on a double date with the girl he was seeing and her mate (who was hideous)- For info, we are all aged about 13. We are at my pals girl's parents house (who were out that eveing) and it was a pretty jazzy place. The family obviously had a few bob in the coffers. So me being a bit of a flash mouthy bastard back then was showing off. Anyhoo, the four of us are playing snooker in the "snooker room" (told you they had a few quid) and I'm bragging about how good at golf I am (fuck knows why) where I go on to demonstrate my super backswing with the snooker cue.
What I didn't notice/realize was the fuck-off big crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling out of my eyeshot.
Everone froze at the sound of the snooker cue connecting with crystal. My mates mouth hung open with that "whatthefuckhaveyoujustdone" look. Of course I had to follow through with my swing and pretend I hadn't noticed/heard the explosion when all I wanted to do was sink into a hole in the ground and die a million deaths.
The girl started to cry as her parents were going to kill her. I mumbled a very embarresed apology and me and said mate exited stage left very shortly after. It turns out the two girls spent the next two hours superglueing the broken bits back together and attaching back to chandelier Apparently, her parents never noticed.
( Snollock Biffer I don't really sniff Bollocks, Mon 25 Oct 2004, 16:44, Reply)