Please get away scary lady.......AWAY
#1 Not too long ago I met up with a really rather spiffingly attractive Russian lady I met at a party. Got rather drunk, took her home and did what one must in such circumstances. When the AM made it's evil way around I had another go, and said Russian lady looked over to be post coitally and said "Ha ha! Now you have my AIDS!!" Phrases like WTF etc shot through my mind with both fear, anger and relief that I'd rubbered up. Especially as she is laughing a little too heartily. After my stutterings and anger she pipes up that this was a joke, and she'd thought that being a liberal fella with a left of centre sense of humour that she'd thought I would find such a quip funny. Five minutes later she was standing on the hallway outside my flaty half dressed being told firmly that I'd rather her not come anywhere near me again. Got tested. All cool. Still rail against the entire cocking country though. Vodka drinking, cossack drinking potato monkeys the lot of them.

# 2. Out on Saturday just gone. Was in posh bar in centre of Town with nice new shiny possible new bird type. Was chatting with some mates I'd run into when she rushes up and grabs me by the arm and pulls me to other side of teh bar to show me something amusing or summit. In process of doing this she knocks over the drinks of a bunch of chavs all over said chavs. Chavs don't like this. Am sure is kind of like some kind of Chav Pearl Harbour. She, in reaction to their cries of "Whadafuckayadoin????" decides to try and pull out some kick ass ninja moves. Fails. Falls on her rather lovely arse. Chavs take it up with me. I end up denying any intimate knowlege with said lady and distancing myself from responsibility for her actions. Somehow get away intact without either of us buying them replacement beer. She put out as well. Fucking woo on a stick, says I.
(Lord of the Pies, Mon 25 Oct 2004, 17:59, Reply)