Dead man in the high street
Several years ago I was messing around in the high street, as you do when you're young. Just the usual stuff, riding bikes, attempting tricks and sitting in Maccy D's.

Down a road off the high street there was a small marketplace, renowned for takeaways and prostitutes but also home to a bank. The bank backed onto a carpark, and was very secluded.

So we rock up early afternoon, farting about and someone notices a man lying in the corner of the carpark. We all ride over and have a look, and it seems to everyone assembled that the "gentleman of the street" has passed away. White as a sheet, blue lips, half empty bottle of whisky in hand.

One of our group, I can't remember who, decides he is dead and takes it upon himself to ride to a phonebox to call the police as this was long before mobiles became popular.

Within a few minutes a police car turns up, sirens and lights flashing. Seems to make everything a bit more terrifying to my young self. Policemen get out the car, stroll over to where we are, walk through the middle of our group and have a word with each other.

One of the policeman walks up to him, squats down and looks at him closely. Stands up, gestures to his mate to come over. So the other copper gets on his radio or something and gives the tramp a nudge with his foot.

The tramp jumps like he's been hit with a tazer, exploding in a frenzy of matted hair, old trenchcoats, plastic bags and string, policemen shit it and don't know what to do, all of us, probably about ten or eleven kids burst out laughing in absolute hysterics. Tramp gets up, starts jumping up and down shouting at the police.

I can't remember much else about it now, it was a long time ago and I was laughing so hard. Still one of my favourite memories, occassionally something will trigger a flashback and I'm unable to keep myself from laughing. What gets me the most is what the tramp must have thought when he came round to see two policemen, flashing blue lights, and a bunch of schoolkids on bikes laughing so hard they nearly wet themselves.

Good times.

Edit: I know he wasn't technically dead. Or dead in any other sense, but fuck it. Some stories on here were just a bit too harrowing for me. He's probably dead now anyway...
(Stevie Ruggling, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 16:50, 1 reply)

Hehehe
I suppose you could count him as the living dead though.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 17:05, closed)