squish!
my friend had 2 cats, mel and pepsi. he loved those cats as if they were his children.
one night, i'm sitting watching t.v with a neighbour, when my phone rings. it's my friend, sobbing uncontrollably. "pepsi's dead!" he cried. "she was run over and she's dead!" it took me a good ten minutes to calm him down, he was inconsolable.

after hanging up the phone, my neighbour asked what was wrong with my friend. i told him about the cat, its encounter with the car and subsequent death. my neighbour looks at me and says "that's terrible, there's nothing worse than flat pepsi."

i wish i could say i yelled at him for being insensitive, but i was far too busy laughing my tits off.

EDIT: he had a cat funeral, so i did see the body
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 13:44, 4 replies)

Hahahaaaaa
brilliant! I had a dog called pepsi... she didn't go flat though.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 14:51, closed)

WEre his cats named after
Mel and Kim

Pepsi and Shirley?
(Jugular, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 15:25, closed)

jugular
no, he started off with 2 cats called spliff and coke. coke had kittens and he kept one, which he named pepsi. i don't know who he named mel after, but it may be short for caramel.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 15:42, closed)

You know what??
Dead pussy???..I married one..HA HA HA
(snifferdog, Wed 5 Mar 2008, 11:21, closed)