No way of saying this
without sounding American (apologies to our Merkin friends) and tacky, but mate:

- cry. Nothing wrong with it. Give yourself permission to do so. It sounds *so* corny, but let it out, for God's sake, keeping it in isn't manly, or strong, or natural;
- counselling helps, it really does; not a quick fix, or a pain-free one, but it's more cathartic even than B3ta QoTW's can be;
- you can't change your childhood; or get revenge on your old man. All you can do is not do what he did, and not fuck up other people.

Sorry for the above if it's been patronising or whatever - it wasn't meant to be. It's just when I typed this no-one else had replied, and an entry like yours deserves a reply. I know that most of us, myself included, love a QoTW that supplies amusing, risque anecdotes, and the last two have been very light on those, but on the other hand some people have used them to bring their own demons into the light, so maybe some good has been done even if it's hardly been a laugh-a-minute fortnight.

Take care
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 5 Mar 2008, 23:21, Reply)