Unsecured debts
£65K on plastic? Jesus. I thought I was doing well with my measly £30K in unsecured debt.

Umpteen credit cards, various "consolidation" loans which got pissed up the wall, loan for a new motorcycle, several store cards, etc. etc. etc. It soon mounts up.

Didn't quite make it to CCJ, though, but it was close. One day I woke up and did what I should have done ages ago: cut up the cards. All of them. Then phoned the creditors and poured out my sorry sob story about being a foolish spendthrift and would they mind if I paid them off at a few quid per month? All said yes, but 'twas too late to save my credit rating. My Experian & Equifax reports had loads of positive digits in my payment histories (hint: a string of noughts is good; it means no late payments) and those didn't come off for years. One of the creditors I'd defaulted on was my own bank's credit card.

Some years later I figured I'd try for one - and only one - credit card. No-one would touch me, except Crapital One. And they gave me the dizzingly sky-high credit limit of... wait for it... £200! Yes, two hundred pounds. Oh, and something insane like 24% APR as well as a £30 annual fee. Not that the interest mattered to me as I paid it all off each month, but still. Anyway, cue many, many months of slamming into the credit limit as my salary - and thus spending power - had increased much more than they'd let me spend.

Crapital One: "Mr. Flake, you must learn to stay within your credit limit."
Me: "But if you'd increase my credit limit, we wouldn't be having these discussions. You can see that I pay off the balance in full, on time, each and every month, without exception. I can afford more than £200 each month."
Crapital One: "But we set your credit limit for a reason, and you must learn to stay within it."
Repeat ad nauseam.

Eventually the limit rose in fits and starts to the stratospheric heights of £500.

A couple of months ago I figured I'd approach my bank and ask for a loan for a car. You know, maybe they'd forgiven my earlier fuck-up with their credit card...

So fuck me sideways, but the bank said yes to the loan. Not only that, but the "account manager" brought up his computerised gizmo thingy that tells him what he is allowed to offer me, and he only asked me if I wanted a credit card.

"Thanks very much, but I've already got one. Can yours beat it?"
"15% APR and a £5,000 limit. No annual fee."

*jaw drops to floor*

"Uh, yeah, sure, I'll take one. Thanks."

TEN TIMES the credit limit that Crapital One was willing to extend. Not that I can afford all 5K were I to use it, but it does mean I can put all my monthly spending on the card and not worry about slamming into some arbitrary limit. Looks like my bank has forgiven my earlier transgressions.

So fuck you, Crapital One.

Still, I've got some stupendous memories from that time. And the debts are all long-since paid. I think it might be time for another motorcycle...
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 23 Nov 2006, 22:27, Reply)