I married someone who thought that, as his parents had always been 'poor but happy',
you have to BE poor to BE happy.

NO matter how much money he and I earned, he would waste it as fast as possible on rubbish, in the hope of re-creating his debt-ridden childhood.

He even used to say to me, with a big smile, 'We could never get divorced - we owe too much!'

I didn't understand quite how potty he was until our entire combined monthly wages didn't cover the overdraft and we had to take out a bank loan.

That happened not once but several times - we were always in debt to the bank. No matter how frugal I was, we were always up to our feckin' eyes.

I was brought up to despise debt and was always sick with worry over it, but he found it entirely normal.

(Funnily enough though, he always had new clothes and gadgets, while I wore car boot sale togs and the family had an ancient TV.)

When I realised the extent of his obsession with debt, it also dawned on me that it was HIS debt - all in his name - and not mine, so I took steps to sack him off.

In the meantime I stopped worrying about paying off his storecards and credit cards (he even took out a Toy'R'Us one, ffs, when our youngest kid was 14) and let HIM deal with the flak.

When I finally kicked myself free, he took to visiting my parents to brag about how well off he was now he no longer had me like an albatross round his neck.

So, if someone close to you is crap with money, ask yourself - are they doing it to manipulate you?
Stranger things have happened.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 20:11, Reply)