Getting married of course
I got married when I was in the US Army in Alaska, (the cold must have got to my brain). She called me up and said she was pregnant and "what are you going to do about it"

Cue me being the stand up guy and marrying her against all odds, against friends advice. I was enlisted and wasn't bringing home big dough so I proceeded to get an absolute wreck of a car that cost me more in storage yard fees than I paid for it cause it was broken down. On the way to get insurance right as I was pulling into the insurance lady's office the aforementioned car,(which had no acceleration and soft brakes) slid on ice magically into someone else's car leaving the insurance office. Cue much frustration and getting denied insurance for some reason by the people in the office who saw the accident.

Warning sign of the week: When the girl you are about to marry takes you to meet her state paid for mental health counselor. No seriously, it did not ring any warning bells.

So Right, I get married by a justice of the Peace and have a $20 cake at the wedding in the apartment. Thats when the fun begins. Since my Seargent's in the Army didn't approve of me getting married no one told me I had to fill out large stacks of paperwork and mind it through a byzantine system. Cue me 2 months later trying to support me and the wifey on MRE's snagged from work.

Then I get the cheapest apartment I can afford which is at the other end of town from the army base and have to ride a mountain bike to and from work. No problem cept it's 10k from work, each way. So I'd get up early, ride 10k to work then run 3k on top of other exercises week days.

Back pay arrives and I proceed to piddle away $1500 US on food, back rent and a N64, all while still riding a mountain bike back and forth to work. (summer mind you)

Then once I'm moved onto post housing I get a 3 bedroom unit with a washer and dryer in the basement. Best place I've ever lived so far. But I have no furniture to furnish it. Even had to make do with an air mattress for a month or so.

Now wifey gets a brilliant idea of getting herself on my checking account. She calls up the bank and gets checks sent to us with both of our names. (warning bells should have gone off but really they didn't)

Cue me being extremely overdrafted for almost a month straight until I find out that she has been writing checks against what the Dial in system says the balance is. No really. She would know that there was $500 in the account and proceed to write $800 in checks in like a day or two. After she wrote each check she would dial in and see how much money was in the account, Honest. The concept of a checking account was completely lost on her.

Cue me being roughly 1300 overdrafted with another 1600 in overdraft fees from banks and stores. I hastily confiscate the checking account from wife, get large personal loan and barely avoid getting an Article 15.

I find out 6 weeks after we are married that she has a daughter. No really, she calls me up at work( frequent occurence) and tells me she had to sign away her daughter that day. Turns out she had a young daughter that had her arm and leg broken by an ex boyfriend a long time ago and they were just finalizing the paperwork now.

I would regularly come home on payday, she'd draw me a bath and I would get out of the bath lighter in the wallet. Then that day or the next she'd want to go clubbing because a friend "loaned" her some money.

About the pregnancy to begin with? She has a "miscarriage" and I still decided to marry her.

I got out of the army, moved home and before a year was up I left and we had an amicable divorce. As amicable as it can be with someone who has multiple personalities and is pathological. Dad's the nicest guy in the world and really, I couldn't come over for christmas dinner if I brought her with. Seriously.


Cut to many years later, haven't remarried or even had a steady girlfriend and I've gone to school. I have a bachelors, working on my Masters of business administration, no house, new car ($14k debt), school loans($63k), and a killer job with a fortune 100 company.

Slightly before this though, I lived for 5 years without running water while I was going to school because the pikey mobile home in the woods was all that I could afford.

Apologies for length - Probably should but I can give any woman the best 2 minutes of her life. :)
(armednuclearterrorist, Tue 28 Nov 2006, 10:10, Reply)