Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Processed MeatAs an undergrad, I was rather short of money mainly because the rents and bills here were stupidly high. Nothing was safe in the communal fridge, so I bought tinned stuff that kept for months, so I'd always have food.
And so, one dark and stormy night at around 2am... I was hungry. Seriously fecking hungry. The all-night garage was closed for some bizarre reason. My bike was broken, so I couldn't cycle the 6 miles to the 24-hour Tescos. I'd had no breakfast, no lunch, and the dinner I'd planned to have got missed because I was so caught up in work.
I looked in the cupboard for food. There was a little bit of rice (about half a portion). There was a jar of curry sauce. And there was a tin.
I opened everything up, cooked the rice, and mixed up the tin into the curry sauce, and ate the result.
It was a tin of SPAM. I was so desperate to eat something that I had a SPAM Tikka Masala that night.
You cannot imagine the greasiness and overwhelming processed meat flavour. Not unpleasant for the first few bites, but after that it was a different story.
The communal toilet the next morning resembled Hiroshima. I swear that the gargantuan creation that came forth *steamed*, and still had pink lumps in. And so, I did the only thing I could. I left it there as an unpleasant surprise for the complete prick down the corridor whom I heard getting out of bed a few moments before.
Do. Not. Eat. Spam. Curry.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 2:47, 4 replies)
Is it wrong that I am tempted to try a spam curry?(I can almost feel the collected head nods and mutterings of "Yes, yes it is" in B3ta land)
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 9:24,
closed)
NopeNot at all, feel free to try it.
:P Take pictures of the ghastly creation and give b3ta a full report. And make sure to book the toilet in advance.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 14:31, closed)
Have eaten Spam curry....and liked it
try corned beef curry too, its tops
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 22:06, closed)
DiseaseI'm sorry, but I must shun you now.
(, Sat 17 Nov 2007, 5:11, closed)
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