Listen to BGB - she talks a lot of sense
Having kids can be fantastic fun - they're mini versions of yourself but different.
It is great to be able to go to the zoo with them.

But never, ever forget that children are people.

Pretty obvious I guess....but just because they're yours it doesn't mean they will be nice, good fun, entertaining or even lovable. They have moods, off days, bad tempers, snotty noses, stinky backsides, appalling manners - until taught otherwise...and even then...

All in all they are not perfect and will not make your life perfect or complete.

If you're lucky as a parent you'll have your children for 16 years, sometimes less. Once they're about 16 that's it - independence, their own lives and you are just the provider. How do I know that? Because that's just entirely normal and exactly how we behave with our parents. It's also exactly what most parents want for their children - independence.

Ideally the relationship changes and they become your friend...but they should not become your friend before that - because they need to be a child and have the security of knowing that you'll take care of them - a friendship is a relationship of equals, the relationship of parent and child isn't.

It's one of the most demanding, exhausting, frustrating, rewarding and important things that anyone can do in their life...but do it at the right time for you - when you've had a chance to see more of the world, enjoy some freedom and be reckless.

And also remember that it isn't our right as human beings to have a child - it's a privilege. So treat it like that if it happens for you and if it doesn't happen then become a fantastic uncle or godfather to someone. There are plenty of children out there who need someone like you in their lives - become a foster parent, a Scout leader, a school mentor, anything that can help you to fill that gap inside you until you become a parent.

Good luck.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:06, Reply)