To all....you are ALL right.
Many thanks for your input and I'll try your advice. For now I've asked him if they have counsellers at AA. I suggested gently that he could talk with them about it as it's not an uncommon thing. Maybe the drinking and that go hand-in-hand? I will ask him again.
I've been talking about it with him lately and I tell him how it feels. As I've told him, I can see myself with him in 20 years but not like this. Recently he's been trying in small ways, holds my hand for a few minutes while watching TV, touching my arm when he speaks.
He confides that he is at a low point of his life. Money, his aging body in his line of work, the booze, the rotten women in his past. I always let him know that I'm always on his side. When he's feeling good he opens his arms to me. When I ask if he's alright he askes me to massage his bad ankle and/or knee.
True: I deserve better and he reminds me of this often. I don't want to give up on him too quickly. Everything else is so good.
Also true: I should withdraw a bit and let him do the running.
For too many years I've been the nurturer, the manager, the nurse, the strong one, the troubleshooter...never the one lavished upon or being cared for. Gosh! What will I do? LOL
Yes, I do realize this relationship might not work and I might have to move on. I'll protect myself but boy, it'll hurt if it comes to that.

Smash Monkey? No, you're not a cynical old cow.
1. This is what I think too.
2. I tell him this when I get angry and you should see the face! He says it's a terrible thing to say. I do wonder about it....
(OGH, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 22:25, Reply)