This QOTW is well timed I'll give it that...

Hearing these stories of disappointment, heartbreak and despair have inspired me to inform the reader of one of my own personal tragedies that, up to this moment, I have suffered in silence...

Only last week Belvedere, (my head butler) informed me that his wife had suddenly died and he has to attend the funeral tomorrow.

Which more importantly means I am going to have to put up with some knobbing underling dusting my Rembrandts that day; and they’ll no doubt do a shoddy, half-arsed, working-class job of it too.

But do I complain about my disappointment?

Do I Floella Benjamin’s flangeflaps.

Honestly, you whinging fuckers don’t know you’re born.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:27, 4 replies)

There, there
I'm sure Belvedere has them better trained than that. If not, a bloody good horsewhipping is the only answer, m'boy.

It's the only thing they understand.

*tips top hat*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:30, closed)

the bounder!
i hope that, upon his return, you fit a tagging device to belvedere's ankle. now that his wife is dead, he has nothing to go home to, so he has no excuse to stop working. make this unmitigated cad rue and lament the fact that he failed to train his wife to such a degree that she died at a time that would mean her funeral coincided with his bi-monthly half-day off.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:39, closed)

I'm now disappointed...

Because your replies are way funnier than my actual post.

*Starts drinking thinking*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:41, closed)

i think you'll find
that the lady prefers a simple...

Fudflaps

but for State and Cermonial Coccasions - Flange Clackers
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 17:35, closed)