My niece, Sarah.
A few years ago we decided to take in my missus' niece as her fucked up junky mum was basically dragging her from doss-house to doss-house and score to score.
When we got her she hadn't eaten properly in a week or so, hadn't been to school in over a month and had probably spent a good deal of the previous months in the company of druggies, dealers, jailbirds and creepy peado cunts like anotherwanker.

Unfortunately she ended up being cut from very similar cloth to her mother but that's another story. She ended up going back to live with her mum 2 years later when she went for a weekend visit (we'd only just got to that stage of trust) and her mum decided that now she wanted to take responsibility for raising her daughter. And that was that.
Before the barrage of "Did you try?"'s all we had was a spoken agreement with the mother and even with a legal-type piece of paper, any court here in Oz will generally favour giving the child to parents over relatives anyday.
Our house is more peaceful tho these days :|

But Sarah when she lived with us came up with some doozies. And they were real clangers. She is a real "stream of consciousness type of girl - she would say what she saw as she saw it.
Once while doing a spelling exercise she was trying to describe "fabric" - her quote was "that thing you chop-snap", we all looked at each other quizzically. Eventually we managed to figure out that she meant "fabric", that you can chop-snap. Apparently.
Chopsnap...

We were driving past some soccer/footy ovals (fields) and Sarah pipes up with "What's that white thing you're looking at?" to my missus. Que? We spent a few minutes asking her to describe them - "They were white & standing up.", "They weren't next to a house.", "They were used when you do that thing with the ball."
It took nearly 15 min. for us to figure out that my wife had glanced to the left where there were some soccer goal posts, painted white, long passed.

One day we happened to be driving by a McDonalds. Sarah happened to see it and shout out "McDonalds!". Everyone else in the car scrunched their brow and wondered "Wtf?"
So my missus asked "Do you mean that McDonalds?"
Sarah responds with "All of you all ever talk about is McDonalds, McDonalds McDonalds!"
Whaaa?

"Chopsnap" & "McDonalds, McDonalds McDonalds" remain today as terms we use to describe either something unknown or something done "over the top".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:23, 10 replies)

How many cigarettes did it take before you got a fumble in her knickers?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 14:57, closed)

Quite a few, I'd imagine
Jimmy Saville he ain't!
(BlondeBombshell Small but perfectly formed., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:23, closed)

You've got a thing about him
haven't you?
(username failed moderation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:11, closed)

She could be the only woman that has
Don't put her off.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:49, closed)

I think she's
a Janet sockpuppet. She sounds a lot like her.
(username failed moderation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 17:19, closed)

Unfortunately I don't get to spend enough time here to notice.
Have they ever been seen in the same room together?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 17:34, closed)

So a girl who had had a shitty upbringing
had a shitty command of the English language and not much going on between the ears.
The fact that she had hardly ever been to school and her mother was a druggy should have lead you to understand that this was likely to be the case.
It wasn't her fault she was daft really.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 6 Oct 2012, 17:47, closed)