Drunken lumberjack
A few years ago, I was home from uni for the summer, my dad and I went to the pub for a few pints one afternoon, then came home for a few more beers.

"Right mong!" says papa with a clap of his hands, shakily taking to his feet. "Your mum wants us to take down a tree in the garden." I protest, saying I'm enjoying the beer to much, so we reach a compromise. We get some beers while we work.

Said tree is not much of a challenge, about 10' tall and the trunk is thinner than my neck. We saw it to the point it's almost ready to drop, when suddenly my dad stops.

"We want it to fall on the lawn so just give it a good kick." I kick it and nothing happens.
"Take a run up!" advises my dad. I take his advice and launch my self at the tree, kicking with all my might.
*CRACK!!!* The tree slowly tips then falls, I stand panting but triumphant. Dad and I share a beer and start digging out the roots, we eventualy free the stump and drag that out of the ground. Sweaty and grimey, we sit on the grass, bottles of beer in hand and enjoy a drink in easy silence, a real father and son moment.

The garden gate opens, out walks my mother, straight from the hair dressers. "You bloody idiots!" she hisses, "That's the wrong bloody tree!".

Almost fell in the hole for laughing.
(Mong goose, Fri 25 Feb 2011, 23:30, 3 replies)

Do you sleep all night
and work all day?
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 0:14, closed)

I was a student at the time so I was the opposite, then I had to get a job, pay tax and get on with the downward spiral of life towards becoming a drunken parent my self.
(Mong goose, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 1:47, closed)

Sry, drunk & bored.

& only 1 kid @ home!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 6:26, closed)