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This is a question Drunk Parents

Watching the old man swing home from the pub and start arguing with Newsnight can be either funny, slightly unnerving or just plain terrifying. Tell us about daft things parents have done while they've been in their cups.

Suggested by NotDavidBailey, voted for by YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 17:58)
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I'm Drunk
and I'm a parent.
Expect outpourings of grief and amusing anecdotes from mini-me the next time this gets asked.
I am totally irresponsible and should be strung up, or feel compelled to pay for years of therapy at some point in the future.
I would feel remorse but he is keeping me awake with his guitar playing and stupidly loud drunken ramblings at fucking sodding half 3 in the morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 3:27, 9 replies)
Oh eight hundred! Double one! Double one!
Hello? Esther? There's somebody AWFUL on the interwebs. Can you send the Moral Police around, please? Thank you. Smashing legs by the way. Bye bye. Bye. Bye bye. Kiss kiss. Bye.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 7:44, closed)
It disgusting isn't it.

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 11:33, closed)
I'm speechless with internet indignation.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 13:02, closed)
We had noticed that elsewhere.
Or rather, that you were far from speechless, unfortunately.
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 27 Feb 2011, 13:34, closed)
Here boy! Here boy!
Follow daddy!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 22:00, closed)

*patting on head*

You have much to learn, Grasshopper.
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 27 Feb 2011, 23:18, closed)
Probably. But I'm unlikely to learn how to use the internet
from somebody who's never posted an original picture or story or been involved in a single creative project and whose main contribution to b3ta appears to be following people around qotw attempting to be a white knight.

Now go and sit in your basket while I deal with the other puppies.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 8:54, closed)

I'm in a similar situation, except mine keeps me awake by crying a lot as she's only just turned 1.
The beer helps the headaches go away.
(Turtlenuts, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 19:59, closed)
Ooh snap.
You've got one of those too. Mine plays guitar in between loud bouts of online Call of Duty. Get earplugs.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 28 Feb 2011, 21:40, closed)

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