The Mad Artist, Part 2
The Mad Artist is notorious for his... how best to put it? His funk, his odor, his general mankiness. Brilliant man, fascinating to talk to, but his reek causes dogs to run and bury their noses in cat turds. His apartment is always a few levels beyond mere squalor, as he never throws anything out and never cleans.

Once, years ago, he had a pair of docksiders that he wore, as he does with all shoes, without socks. As he's in the habit of just tromping around through everything without thought to how mucky he gets, his shoes took on a life of their own.

One day he decided that they were getting a bit too squidgy. He sat at the kitchen table in the apartment he shared, took off his shoe, and used a butter knife to scrape a layer of dark brown smelly goo out of his shoes. And instead of doing what you or I would do and scraping it into the garbage can, he left a pile of foot goo on the table. And then left.

When he came home that night one of his roommates said, "Hey! You've been holding out on us!"

"What are you talking about?"

"That hash you left on the kitchen table! You've been holding out! I took it to Ron's and a bunch of us smoked it all! Don't hold out on us!"

He looked at the roommate for a moment, then went to get the butter knife. He sat down in front of the roommate and scraped out his shoe again, producing another wad of goo. "It looked like that, didn't it? And smelled like that?"

His roommate went silent and green.

He threw the wad of goo to the floor, where the dog sniffed it before eating it in one gulp. "Ha ha ha! Now you've shared some 'hash' with the dog!"

He's truly a legend, my friend is...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 30 Oct 2008, 21:08, 4 replies)

*heaves*
.
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 21:31, closed)

that
is fucking rank.
*revisits teatime quiche*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:52, closed)

What do we want?
More mad artist stories!

When do we want them?

NOW!!!
(lanternchikk hat eine schwere Bohlenallergie, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 2:29, closed)

*Boiks*
*clicky*
(Nogin the Nog is the good one! Beware Nogbad the Bad!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 14:45, closed)