Run for the bus man
There's nothing like evangelical Christians.

As we only ever saw this chap either in the Tesco store where we worked, or running for the local bus, we named him Run for the Bus Man. I had many delightful encounters with him, as I had the pleasure of serving at the pleasure of the Tesco god.

- There was the time when he came up to my till, pointed at a stand of Harry Potter DVDs and shouted, 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?'. I didn't have the presence of mind to fake a heart attack, so I had to stand for twenty minutes whilst he ranted about how Harry Potter was evil because it had nothing to do with the Old Testament.

- He'd regularly come in on Saturday mornings just to rant at the lottery queue on the evils of gambling. He stopped after someone tried to strangle him, probably proving his point perfectly.

- Two days before Christmas, I'm sitting at my till in my Santa hat, feeling a bit jolly. Run for the Bus man comes up and tells me that Jesus was born in March and that everyone is stupid for celebrating Christmas when they do. Sucked the festive spirit right out of me, within the first five minutes of spittle-spraying insanity.

- He told my friend that cancer could be cured by eating grapes.

- Clubcards are apparently the Government's way of tracking everyone's diet. I'm not sure about Nectar points, I never asked.

- He liked to make sure that all the seats on the bus were filled in a particular order, and woe betide anyone who used their own initiative - YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

I eventually moved away from Suffolk and haven't seen him on my visits back to my parents' house. I wonder if he overdosed on grapes or something.
(Bondvillain2k, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 17:48, 3 replies)

Where in Suffolk?
I'll go and have a look for you.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 1 Nov 2008, 21:41, closed)

www.google.co.uk/search?q=+cancer+grapes&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&client=firefox-a
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 2:57, closed)

actually
clubcards and the like are used for marketing/monitoring purposes. They come out at night,mostly.
(goorf, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 23:05, closed)