Moses of Kingston
Any of you that have had the displeasure/mental trauma to have spent any time in the centre of Kingston Upon Thames have probably come across Moses. He is a black, slightly overweight schizophrenic guy who seems to spend his days wondering around Kingston doing eccentric things. Back when I was in school he was quite the legend and many stories arose from encounters with him. I'll recall some over the following paragraphs.

He would dress up in full jockey gear on the day of the Grand National. He'd wear an American Football outfit for the superbowl. I once saw him hitting a kid with a riding whip. He's also got an outfit of Baron Samedi from James Bond.

He'd sell fake joints to school kids for a pound. He'd just roll up a bit of newspaper/chip shop wrapper and stuff it full of soil or grass.

Some of his quotes include
"I'm not being racist or nufin, but I well prefer white girls, I dunno why really, its just a bit like the titanic"
"You're gonna be the next Millie Dowler" (to some young girl)
"You don't love me you love the cleaner" (to an old man on the bus)
"hey, kid, you shouldn't smoke. I used to be in the police and they're after you. really watch you back. don't trust anyone"
etc. etc. There are hundreds of these.

He told two of my friends that he was one of the head architects in charge of designing the Millennium Dome.

Although most people old enough to remember know that he was a famous drug dealer during the eighties, he still tells school kids that he is a millionaire African tribal leader who came to Kingston to find a bride. It is scary how many people believe this rumour.

The man is a complete legend and is held in quite affectionate thoughts with most who meet him. Which is quite nice in some ways.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 22:35, 3 replies)

Moses is great
He was the first person I thought of when I saw this QOTW, but I didn't bother writing an answer because I knew someone else would. There's even a Facebook group dedicated to him!
( waffle1 is lurking on, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 2:50, closed)

How
did I fail to run into this chap?

/train back to Kingston
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 10:16, closed)

Moses is a legend
He was in town this weekend in a pink tutu.. NICE. My kids and I try to find him every time we go into Kingston. Never seen him in Surby tho. Would make that more exciting!!
(scowners shagged his mum on, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 11:00, closed)