poo
At work, occasionally, I like to retire to the lav for a little powernap. I've perfected the position, lid down, lean to the right, head on the toilet roll dispenser. I can nod off for a few minutes and feel refreshed.

In fact I did this last week. I prefer 'trap 3' at the end, as its harder for your feet to slip under the sides of the booth thus indicating something amiss.

I woke up suddenly as you do, shit! How long have I been asleep? Feels like it could be 2 mins or 2 hours. Check my phone.. about 15 mins.. not bad... and I do feel refreshed (btw powernaps really do work!). I get up, I can sense there are others waiting for a spare trap, I crunch up some bog roll, and fake the sounds of wiping and zipping up.. flush the bog.. dont want people listening to think I've been up to anything other than a nice long shit. Open the door and nod awkwardly to the next guy who now knows exactly who was warming the seat, no one ever really wants to know.

I wash my hands, glancing in the mirror as he enters the trap. The door closes and suddenly re-opens - "you dirty fucker!" he shouts at me. I stare horrified at the carnage. The occupant previous to me has obviously shit very carefully round about 40% of the toilet seat, and closed the lid on it. I'd been sitting on it for the last 15 mins. Of course, having elaborately faked the audible parts of my dump rather convincingly, he knows that I'm the one who did this.

Theres no real recourse for it. I didnt say anything and just walked out. He doesnt work in my company, we have shared facilities. He works for the call centre over the other side and occasionally I bump into him in the corridor.

I console myself thinking that he probably thinks I am eccentric.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 16:18, 2 replies)

ouch
that is an unpleasant situation in which to find yourself

are you 100% certain you didn't take a sleep dump on the seat?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 16:20, closed)

Can you set your mobile alarm to vibrate?
Normally the best way to make sure you don't overnap - just set to 15 mins and put it in your trouser pocket (I presume you don't drop them for the sake of authenticity?)

Wouldn't have helped much in this situation, of course.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:04, closed)